A Moment of Weakness

This train of thought

Is gonna leave me derailed

Like a lawyer

Tryna find himself

In a job of retail

I'm Phoenix Wright, right?

So my Phoenix Righteousness

Should be like the dust

And all over me

Unfortunately

It seems it's finally

Got one over me

Has me hostage

And my kidnapping

Comes complete with a holding fee

That I honestly

Can't afford at the moment

Life seems like a bitch now don't it?

Mine is lonely

And I don't even own it

I want to

Know about ya day

But I can't say so

Because my pride always says no

And a part of me

Couldn't take it

If you were really doing fine

Spending time doing other things

When we used to talk online

I'm confused and conflicted

Had my ice cream and i licked it once

Before it fell on the ground

Now I know I can't pick it up

There's a Lost

Without Found

I highly doubt

There's any coming back

So I just gotta brave it

And be ready for these attacks

I keep clicking on your picture

Like it's gonna say hello

And even as I do

My logic says hell no

But that's OK

Or it'll have to be

It's a lot harder then I thought

To make you the past to me

Distanced and Featureless (Or The Man With No Face)

my craving for you is like a dull constant hum always there somewhere in the back of my mind irregardless of what im doing. and it doesn't take much for it to get louder. for it to rise like the buzz of a million bees and be all i think about. you want me to see with no eyes, hear with no ears, taste with no tongue, and touch with no hands. what passion has a faceless man with no senses? what destiny has he except to disappear and hope that no one recalls he was there? you want me to be half alive with my heart forever steady, my bpm never rising. you want me to ignore, reject, and disdain this man who's insane about you. you want my beast to vanish and be replaced by a docile creature that jumps at the slightest noise. you claim you want me but i feel unwanted, an intimate friend treated like a stranger.

Limbo

how can i listen to the butterfly flutter of another's heart?
im apart
not a part
when im weighted down
by the sound of the pound of the beat of my aorta sorta
slows n then speeds up
knows what needs ta change
but my brain is scared
fight or flight
n i aint never been one to run
so i fight the feeling
the downhill pull of gravity
as fate get mad at me
n say im killin my odds
word to god
no lies the surprise is that i don't rise back up the incline
but im too shook of losin mine
crooked logic
shaky at the bottom
shoot it's ben fell through
but really i don't know what to do
cuz i feel myself losin you
n to be real
you kinda losin me
i seek to be free
but it would seem im too meek to be me

A Matter of Wanting

i don't want anyone
who don't want me
which make sense logically
im sorry to hit you wit this sad actuality
sorry to hit you wit facts
but i aint fuckin wit de actress
fuck hollywood
i was doin jolly good wit wat is
until i found out that is
was an isn't
thought the heart livin
but it's a zombie
ambercrombie and fitch
wit a fake smile
sittin on a pile of bullshit

A Train of Thought (Bad to Bueno)

underlined. undermined. undefined. low low cuz im under everything movin so slow. understand. underhand throw out the window all the wonder of us so all im left with is a wanderlust. explore. exit the gf turn her to an ex and it's on to the next. cuz we might be worthy of sightseeing when leaving the p-a-s-t, unless we drastically act in a manner differed from the norm act as jason bourne do other then we were trained to then even if the rain is blue we can smile at the sky, look each other in the eye and laugh until we are freezing cold. all i know is what i have must not grow old and dull. cuz ill never find a severed line that would cut as deep as this one. never find. never whine....never mind!